How to Handle Telemarketers

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Kim and I were having a conversation in the kitchen. I'm standing there, with my cel phone and bluetooth headset on, we're talking about something, and my cel phone rings. I look at the caller ID and see that it's not just a telemarketer calling my cel phone, but it's a known religious zealot calling to preach to me. On my cel phone, no less!

So, I ask kim to hang on a sec and answer the phone with the friendly words "DIE DIEE DIEEEEE!" in my scariest Bela Lugosi voice. Maybe a little severe, but they deserve it...

Well, they might have deserved it if it were real. The problem was that although all of this happened just like I said, I was dreaming all of it, and the only part that came out out loud, of course, was the "DIE DIEE DIEEEEE!" part in the middle of the night in an otherwise quiet, sleep filled room. Lucky kim got to wake me up from me telling whomever to die horribly, asking me if i knew what I was saying, probably ready to call the police. Or a priest. Or a vet. Fortunately for me, I did remember exactly what prompted my pleasantness and was able to put it together clearly so that I could be at least somewhat understood, instead of being thought of as somewhat homocidal.

The moral of the story? Never call anyone in the middle of the night if you're a religious telemarketer.

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This page contains a single entry by published on July 25, 2006 6:38 AM.

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