Lately, Ellen's been hitting or pushing Katie, who has been dutifully (a bit TOO dutifully) reporting it to us. "Ellen hit me!", etc.
So this morning, Ellen couldn't be bothered to tell Katie to move out of her way so she just pushed her down, right in front of Kim, who promptly pushed HER down (deservedly so). So Ellen goes into hysterics that it's not fair, that she's so much bigger, that it hurt her more than what she did hurt Katie. And we're trying to explain to her, "hey, that was the POINT. Don't hit Katie anymore."
So of course, she says something that we can't not break up at.
H: "But I can't learn to do that by myself! I need not-hitting lessons!"
E: "Well, us hitting you back ARE the not hitting lessons."
H: "But those aren't good lessons! I need better not-hitting lessons! I need to go to not-hitting classes!."
It's very hard sometimes to keep a straight face as this unfolds. I didn't manage it.