A story I wish I wrote

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This from the wonderful Neil Gaiman's blog, and mind:

This one puzzled me when it came in. Short, to the point, but a little opaque.

Can i have a short summary of each chapter please?, I need it because it is for my journal I will thank you so much.
 
But when that was immediately followed by the equally desperate, 

I really need it if you do not mind, thank you, I will give the credit that you need.
 
How could I say no? So: A short summary of each chapter. Er. Right.

In Chapter One we meet Johnny Theremin.
In Chapter Two we learn all about the Men Without Tents and why they claim to need an original 78 rpm recording of Raymond Scott's "Dinner Music For A Pack Of Hungry Cannibals" so badly.
In Chapter Three Johnny Theremin is locked out of his office by the landlord, and Morris Glanz buys (but does not eat) a bar of chocolate.
In Chapter Four Millicent loses her glove, and the dinosaurs attack. Tap-dancing occurs. Johnny Theremin is beaten over the head with a blunt instrument. (Later revealed to be a bassoon.)
In Chapter Five Johnny learns to snorkel, and The Faceless Chickens make their first move.
In Chapter Six Johnny meets Belladonna (who advertises herself professionally as "Slippery When Wet") and loses her again, in tragical circumstances.
In Chapter Seven we discover a cache of Raymond Scott Quintette records, and finally understand why the aliens are so scared of trellises.  
In Chapter Eight the secret of Millicent's glove is finally revealed, as are Miss Belladonna's unusual physical characteristics. Once more Johnny Theremin is beaten over the head with a blunt instrument. This time it's a harpsichord.
In Chapter Nine The Men Without Tents return, bearing omelettes. Terrible things are proposed. Omelettes are regurgitated.
In Chapter Ten, Johnny pays the rent, and is finally allowed back into his office, where Millicent discovers her true self, behind the sofa. The aliens ascend with the Other Glove, but not before persuading the Faceless Chickens to leave humanity alone. Probably. For this week.
And at the last, in the Epilogue, Belladonna eats the late Morris Glanz's bar of chocolate.

You're welcome.

That's just bloody brilliant.

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This page contains a single entry by published on July 27, 2004 8:20 AM.

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